The Core Competency: How Trauma Healing Unlocks Authentic Leadership

Introduction and Welcome

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of Worth Mind. I'm your host, Susmita Ravi, and as always, we are excited to bring you conversations that inspire transformation not just in business but within ourselves. At Worth minds, we explore exclusive conversations with industrial leaders, luxury finance, and entrepreneurial icons, shaping the future of leadership and success.

Today's conversation shifts the focus inward. Joining me today is beautiful. Ms. Tamara Badone is a certified somatic trauma-informed health coach and a specialist in narcissistic abusive recovery work. And she also works with a functional medicine practitioner. Her work is about healing emotional wounds, mastering the nervous system, and guiding individual to reclaim their personal power.

Miss Tamara, we are truly pleasure to have you with us today. Thank you. It's my pleasure to be here, and thank you so much for inviting me to be on your show. What an honor. Thank you. So let's start with a question. What led you into the world of trauma healing and personal transformation? Oh, it's such a beautiful question and I think, ~uh, ~it's a really good one.

Personal Journey into Trauma Healing

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I would say ~I, ~I was around, I'm currently 54. Years old and I was in my late forties. I was in a 31 year marriage, which feels, felt really good and healthy. We've known each other all our lives. We spent a lot of time together. But there was something really, really stuck in my life. There was part of me that felt completely dead.

I was not living my best life. ~I, I, I ~was happy, but I was. There was something really missing. I had, there was a very big stuckness and I wanted to live my life differently. ~I mean, ~I was close to 50 and there was something missing and I couldn't understand what, and I was also very much becoming aware of certain patterns.

Like I was very controlling. I was a perfectionist. I was a people pleaser, and it was just exhausting me. I could not carry on like that. ~I mean, ~I was really a perfectionist. Everything was, you know, you can never succeed in being a perfectionist 'cause you can never be perfect. You can never succeed in controlling other people's behavior.

This is impossible. So it was extremely exhausting on myself. And plus, ~I mean, I, I ~also have three beautiful adult children. The relationship felt healthy, but again, there was a deeper need for a deeper connection. ~Hmm. ~And I was curious. I was seeking something different and that really started my own personal work in my own traumas, getting really curious about them going through a lot of difficult moments, really opening Pandora's Box, as they say.

And once you open it, you can't go back. And it's not an easy journey, but it's also a journey of total freedom. You go through it, there's darkness. You connect to a lot of very difficult traumas, or some people have less difficult, but still they're traumas. And as long as we're carrying traumas that have not been resolved, and have not been acknowledged, and have not been felt, they will always show up in certain patterns that keep us small and limit us in living our best lives.

Nonviolent Communication and Self-Compassion

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And I would say this is really my first journey. So the first. Really exposure was, ~mm-hmm. ~To work with nonviolent communication. And this is the work of Marshall Rosenberg. And it was really my first connection to my feelings and emotions. And by doing that and applying [00:04:00] Marshall Rosenberg's work, which is a really very easy four step process, but extremely transformational when it comes to connecting with others.

I started really seeing a shift. In my relationship with my children, there was an ownership of how each one of us feels, and no one could question that. So that was very empowering, and obviously you can apply it in business, you can apply it everywhere, and then the way you start communicating with people comes from much more vulnerable and authentic place.

So when you show up in authenticity and vulnerability, pe, you are giving permission. And safety to others to show up in the same way. So you end up building ~really, really much ~more beautiful connections. And then I also did a lot of work on self-compassion. And this is to me, crucial for any work. On trauma, because we also have to understand that all these parts that we've carried, we call them protector parts, like the controlling part, like if people have also some, ~you know, uh, ~addictions with food, with shopping, ~you know, ~all these parts are there to protect us.

Mm-hmm. So instead of ~really, really. ~Looking at them and fighting them and ~resent ~them. We need to also show up and give them a space of compassion. Like they have been such incredible parts of who we were, and they have always been there to protect us. Protect us from what? Protect us, from feeling excruciating pain when we were younger, that we were not ready to feel.

Now that we're older, we know it's safe to feel it. So these parts are invited to ~really ~step down. Like, I don't need to be controlling anymore. I'm safe now. So it's ~really, really ~beautiful work that is very self-compassionate and very transformational. And then when you see it that way, you soften towards all these parts.

Understanding Control and Past Trauma

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And I remember once I had a conversation with someone and they were telling me, ~uh, ~yes, you're very controlling. And I said, yes, I am. I'm so grateful to my controlling behavior. I grew up in a country where there was war. I had no control of day-to-day events. I was sexually abused as a child. I had no control over these situations.

And then I was in a 30 year, ~you know, ~psychologically and mentally abusive relationship. I wasn't aware of that. So yes, these controlling parts protected me. And now that I'm, would like to say I'm a bit wiser and a bit more attuned to feeling my painful emotions. I know I'm safe. I am, I've really, really, really given up this control in so many ways or in, in so many parts of my life I don't need it.

And it's just feels so freeing to be able to do that. But at the same time. To also be very compassionate to this controlling part that I had. So that's a long answer to your question. No, no, that is beautiful. Thank you so much for, ~uh, ~taking us through your journey. It was very insightful. So let's move on.

Your first answer I can figure out, there's an outline of positivity and positive psychology, which you are putting in your approach. So could you share how this aspect of positivity helps you in your coaching with visualization to empower individuals? This is a beautiful question as well, so thanks for asking it.

Positive Psychology and Character Strengths

---

A lot of my work is actually based on positive psychology and it really is important to integrate it into trauma work. And when we do that, we look at important ~I I ~with my clients. I also invite them to. Complete a few forms and one of them being a very simple  form called the VIA survey, which is a survey of 25 character strengths.

And they are all incredible strengths that we all carry. It's like a global language of character strengths. It's a very simple one. And then once you complete it, once they complete it, ~um, ~there's a ranking. They are all, there's not one strength that is better than the other. They are all very good strengths, and your strengths can change throughout your life, throughout different chapters of your life.

But what is important when I'm working with my clients is to get them to complete that, and we often work. With the five signature strengths, the five S signature strengths are the top five that they currently exhibit in their life. Mm-hmm. And these, for example, can be being creative or love of learning or being kind.

So we look at the top five and whenever I'm working with them and whenever we finish a session ~mm-hmm. ~I always invite them. To set a  goal, a small, smart goal for the next session. And with that, I invite them to integrate at least one or two or three of these character strengths into their daily life and into their goal.

Why is that? Because these character strengths, when we apply them in our lives, they bring us certain alignment. To ourselves. That is very, very important to our core essence. So by inviting that, even when we're doing trauma work or doing any behavioral change work, which is what I do as a functional medicine health coach, it's really, really giving them the positivity and the motivation.

They need a reminder of what it feels like to be in a positive state. So this is very important. And then we also, I also do a lot of work with. Meditation and visualization. ~Mm-hmm. ~And again, it's really, really, really changing the mindset slowly and gently from one of, ~you know, ~being stuck in trauma to one that is very self-empowering, reminding my clients that they have a choice and they can control that choice, but the shift cannot happen from one day to the next.

And we can be very patient with ourselves, and this is why self-compassion is so important that it's okay to get it wrong and be really self-compassionate with that. And this is important as well in positive psychology. So working towards that with clients gives them, ~you know, ~little baby goals. ~I mean, ~sometimes we can even set a small goal as researching a local gym.

Or let's say they're feeling, ~I mean, ~now we have a big issue in our societies. People feel very disconnected, and we are social creatures. We need to be connected to other human beings. We are not meant to live in isolation. So a lot of the, the challenges clients come to me with are, ~you know, ~they're feeling very lonely, they're feeling very alone, and this can lead to all sorts of health issues.

Psychological, physiological. Mental. So ~you know, ~taking that as an example, we could set a small goal. The client would set a small goal as researching what events they could start attending, which would allow them to connect with others that could be as simple as that. And this automatically kickstart something more positive.

They're suddenly, they're waking up and. There's a goal they're aiming for that is aligned with their core essence and ~you know, ~this is how the work ~ha, you know, ~happens and the change takes place. And ~you know, ~sometimes you just get a taste of that change. And that's it. You're on a roll. ~Yeah, definitely.~

~Yeah. Um, ~thank you so much for putting such a complex idea in very simple terms and explaining to us, especially, we just love how you help individuals with these five signature strengths. Taking baby steps, small things at a time, which gives a drastic change. Thank you so much for sharing. Other thing that is important to mention here?

Nervous System Regulation

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I do, as you mentioned in the introduction, a lot of work towards. Regulating and mapping the nervous system. ~Mm. Yeah. ~So that also is very important for them to really, really start, ~I don't dunno, ~this is not really related to positive psychology, but we can integrate it. And what is the activation? Where am I in this nervous system?

Am I now in survival mode? Am I, ~you know, ~what brings me into rest or digest, which is the parasympathetic, ~uh, ~nervous system state? Reminding them that they have access to that. 'cause we all get triggered, all of us. ~I mean, uh, you know, ~and it's becoming aware that this is happening and instead of the, of it taking over, what tools do I have?

To regulate my nervous system. Some people need to go to nature, some people need to [00:13:00] pet a dog. ~You know ~that we have a toolkit and I encourage clients to go through that so they become aware of their activation. And what I really, really encourage clients, we really don't like ourselves when we're activated.

And again, it goes back to being compassionate towards these activation because whenever we're activated there's a huge, such an important message for us. Activation is a messenger. ~Mm-hmm. ~It is a messenger of some unhealed parts of us, so suppose Be compassionate towards this com, this activation. It's okay if you overreacted.

It's okay. Be kind to yourself about it, and then get curious ~where is ~happening there. ~Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ~You put that very lovely. Thank you. So, and finally, we would like to know more about what's your next practice, what's your future vision for expanding this way?

Future Vision and Plans

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So I have my vision. I, I work a lot with vision with my clients and I think it's so important to have a vision in life.

~Um, and, you know, ~we can get excited about it. So my vision, I mean, I have my private coaching, which is going well, but something. That again, ~you know, ~when I talk about being fully aligned, I'm fully aligned when I'm working part of a group. I don't like working alone. I like being with others. I like the power of different minds and how they work.

Bringing all that together in a retreat, in a workshop, magic happens when you have that. So really, really my objective now is to focus more on becoming a facilitator or organizing my own workshops with others. In fact, I'm running a workshop in November on the first and second November, an introduction to Self-Compassion with a beautiful childhood friend who's been on a very similar path.

~Mm-hmm. Uh, ~yes, me in Baun, and they were doing it in Lisbon. So I wanna do more of these workshops. I am also. Growing my business to really do more group work. So I'm gonna be starting in Geneva, but it can also be online in narcissistic abuse support group. 'cause there's such a need for that when someone's going through such a relationship is in one or leaving one.

It is so important to be in a support group of like-minded people who've been through similar experiences because the experience itself is really, really crazy. Making you think you're going crazy and having people going through a similar experience validate what you are going through or are going through or have been going through is really an important part of healing.

So I wanna do more of that and I also plan to, ~uh, ~either launch. With someone still to be confirmed and it's not gonna happen in the next year, my own podcast or do more podcast work. ~Hmm. ~Great, great. So we can get the message out there. And I come from, I'm half Lebanese, half Palestinian. I've lived all my life outside Lebanon most of my life.

~Um, ~I would also like to bring the work I'm doing to my. Home town, so especially when it comes to trauma work. So I'd probably be running workshops there at some point as well. Yeah, that's great. You have a great vision and success in them. Once again, Ms. Tamara, thank you so much for being with us today.

Closing Remarks

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Thank you so much and sharing your expertise and we again, wish you success in your vision and your work. Thank you so much. Thank you, and I hope I'll join you next time, ~uh, ~when you're doing one of your in-person events. I know I couldn't this time in November, but hopefully next time I would, that's another part of my vision to be there in person.

Definitely. Thanks a lot for this opportunity. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. Okay. We believe personal mastery forms the foundation of leadership healing from within where true success begins To all who listen, your growth is your legacy. This is worth minds. See you in the next episode. Thank you.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Worth Mind. I'm your host, Susmita Ravi, and as always, we are excited to bring you conversations that inspire transformation not just in business but within ourselves. At Worth minds, we explore exclusive conversations with industrial leaders, luxury finance, and entrepreneurial icons, shaping the future of leadership and success.

Today's conversation shifts the focus inward. Joining me today is beautiful. Ms. Tamara Badone is a certified somatic trauma-informed health coach and a specialist in narcissistic abusive recovery work. And she also works with a functional medicine practitioner. Her work is about healing emotional wounds, mastering the nervous system, and guiding individual to reclaim their personal power.

Miss Tamara, we are truly pleasure to have you with us today. Thank you. It's my pleasure to be here, and thank you so much for inviting me to be on your show. What an honor. Thank you. So let's start with a question. What led you into the world of trauma healing and personal transformation? Oh, it's such a beautiful question and I think, ~uh, ~it's a really good one.

I would say ~I, ~I was around, I'm currently 54. Years old and I was in my late forties. I was in a 31 year marriage, which feels, felt really good and healthy. We've known each other all our lives. We spent a lot of time together. But there was something really, really stuck in my life. There was part of me that felt completely dead.

I was not living my best life. ~I, I, ~I was happy, but I was. There was something really missing. I had, there was a very big stuckness and I wanted to live my life differently. ~I mean, ~I was close to 50 and there was something missing and I couldn't understand what, and I was also very much becoming aware of certain patterns.

Like I was very controlling. I was a perfectionist. I was a people pleaser, and it was just exhausting me. I could not carry on like that. ~I mean, ~I was really a perfectionist. Everything was, you know, you can never succeed in being a perfectionist 'cause you can never be perfect. You can never succeed in controlling other people's behavior.

This is impossible. So it was extremely exhausting on myself. And plus, ~I mean, I, ~I also have three beautiful adult children. The relationship felt healthy, but again, there was a deeper need for a deeper connection. ~Hmm. ~And I was curious. I was seeking something different and that really started my own personal work in my own traumas, getting really curious about them going through a lot of difficult moments, really opening Pandora's Box, as they say.

And once you open it, you can't go back. And it's not an easy journey, but it's also a journey of total freedom. You go through it, there's darkness. You connect to a lot of very difficult traumas, or some people have less difficult, but still they're traumas. And as long as we're carrying traumas that have not been resolved, and have not been acknowledged, and have not been felt, they will always show up in certain patterns that keep us small and limit us in living our best lives.

And I would say this is really my first journey. So the first. Really exposure was, ~mm-hmm. ~To work with nonviolent communication. And this is the work of Marshall Rosenberg. And it was really my first [00:21:00] connection to my feelings and emotions. And by doing that and applying Marshall Rosenberg's work, which is a really very easy four step process, but extremely transformational when it comes to connecting with others.

I started really seeing a shift. In my relationship with my children, there was an ownership of how each one of us feels, and no one could question that. So that was very empowering, and obviously you can apply it in business, you can apply it everywhere, and then the way you start communicating with people comes from much more vulnerable and authentic place.

So when you show up in authenticity and vulnerability, pe, you are giving permission. And safety to others to show up in the same way. So you end up building ~really, really ~much more beautiful connections. And then I also did a lot of work on self-compassion. And this is to me, crucial [00:22:00] for any work. On trauma, because we also have to understand that all these parts that we've carried, we call them protector parts, like the controlling part, like if people have also some, ~you know, ~uh, addictions with food, with shopping, ~you know, ~all these parts are there to protect us.

Mm-hmm. So instead of ~really, really. ~Looking at them and fighting them and ~resent ~them. We need to also show up and give them a space of compassion. Like they have been such incredible parts of who we were, and they have always been there to protect us. Protect us from what? Protect us, from feeling excruciating pain when we were younger, that we were not ready to feel.

Now that we're older, we know it's safe to feel it. So these parts are invited to really step down. Like, I don't need to be controlling anymore. I'm safe now. So it's ~really, really ~beautiful work that is very self-compassionate and very transformational. And then when you see it that way, you soften towards all these parts.

And I remember once I had a conversation with someone and they were telling me, ~uh, ~yes, you're very controlling. And I said, yes, I am. I'm so grateful to my controlling behavior. I grew up in a country where there was war. I had no control of day-to-day events. I was sexually abused as a child. I had no control over these situations.

And then I was in a 30 year, ~you know, ~psychologically and mentally abusive relationship. I wasn't aware of that. So yes, these controlling parts protected me. And now that I'm, would like to say I'm a bit wiser and a bit more attuned to feeling my painful emotions. I know I'm safe. I am, I've really, really, really given up this control in so many ways or in, in so many parts of my life I don't need it.

And it's just feels so freeing to be able to do that. But at the same time. To also be very compassionate to this controlling part that I had. So that's a long answer to your question. No, no, that is beautiful. Thank you so much for, ~uh, ~taking us through your journey. It was very insightful. So let's move on.

Your first answer I can figure out, there's an outline of positivity and positive psychology, which you are putting in your approach. So could you share how this aspect of positivity helps you in your coaching with visualization to empower individuals? This is a beautiful question as well, so thanks for asking it.

A lot of my work is actually based on positive psychology and it really is important to integrate it into trauma work. And when we do that, we look at ~important I ~with my clients. I also invite them to. Complete a few forms and one of them being a very simple form called the VIA survey, which is a survey of 25 character strengths.

And they are all incredible strengths that we all carry. It's like a global language of character strengths. It's a very simple one. And then once you complete it, once they complete it, ~um, ~there's a ranking. They are all, there's not one strength that is better than the other. They are all very good strengths, and your strengths can change throughout your life, throughout different chapters of your life.

But what is important when I'm working with my clients is to get them to complete that, and we often work. With the five signature strengths, ~the five S ~signature strengths are the top five that they currently ~inhibit ~in their life. Mm-hmm. And these, for example, can be being creative or love of learning or being kind.

So we look at the top five and whenever I'm working with them and whenever we finish a session ~mm-hmm. ~I always invite them. To set a goal, a small, smart goal for the next session. And with that, I invite them to integrate at least one or two or three of these character strengths into their daily life and into their goal.

Why is that? Because these character strengths, when we apply them in our lives, they bring us certain alignment. To ourselves. That is very, very important to our core essence. So by inviting that, even when we're doing trauma work or doing any behavioral change work, which is what I do as a functional medicine health coach, it's really, really giving them the positivity and the motivation.

They need a reminder of what it feels like to be in a positive state. So this is very important. And then we also, I also do a lot of work with. Meditation and visualization. ~Mm-hmm. ~And again, it's really, really, really changing the mindset slowly and gently from one of, ~you know, ~being stuck in trauma to one that is very self-empowering, reminding my clients that they have a choice and they can control that choice, but the shift cannot happen from one day to the next.

And we can be very patient with ourselves, and this is why self-compassion is so important that it's okay to get it wrong and be really self-compassionate with that. And this is important as well in positive psychology. So working towards that with clients gives them, ~you know, ~little baby goals. ~I mean, ~sometimes we can even set a small goal as researching a local gym.

Or let's say they're feeling, ~I mean, ~now we have a big issue in our societies. People feel very disconnected, and we are social creatures. We need to be connected to other human beings. We are not meant to live in isolation. So a lot of the, the challenges clients come to me with are, ~you know, ~they're feeling very lonely, they're feeling very alone, and this can lead to all sorts of health issues.

Psychological, physiological. Mental. So ~you know, ~taking that as an example, we could set a small goal. The client would set a small goal as researching what events they could start attending, which would allow them to connect with others that could be as simple as that. And this automatically kickstart something more positive.

They're suddenly, they're waking up and. There's a goal they're aiming for that is aligned with their core essence and ~you know, ~this is how the work ~ha, you know, ~happens and the change takes place. And ~you know, ~sometimes you just get a taste of that change. And that's it. You're on a roll. ~Yeah, ~definitely.

~Yeah. Um, ~thank you so much for putting such a complex idea in very simple terms and explaining to us, especially, we just love how you help individuals with these five signature strengths. Taking baby steps, small things at a time, which gives a drastic change. Thank you so much for sharing. Other thing that is important to mention here?

I do, as you mentioned in the introduction, a lot of work towards. Regulating and mapping the nervous system. ~Mm. Yeah. ~So that also is very important for them to really, really start, I don't, ~this is not really related to positive psychology, but we can integrate it. And what is the activation? Where am I in this nervous system?

Am I now in survival mode? Am I, ~you know, ~what brings me into rest or digest, which is the parasympathetic, ~uh, ~nervous system state? Reminding them that they have access to that. 'cause we all get triggered, all of us. ~I mean, uh, you know, ~and it's becoming aware that this is happening and instead of the, of it taking over, what tools do I have?

To regulate my nervous system. Some people need to go to nature, some people need to pet a dog. You know that we have a toolkit and I encourage clients to go through that so they become aware of their activation. And what I really, really encourage clients, we really don't like ourselves when we're activated.

And again, it goes back to being compassionate towards ~these ~activation because whenever we're activated there's a huge, such an important message for us. Activation is a messenger. ~Mm-hmm. ~It is a messenger of some unhealed parts of us, so suppose Be compassionate towards this com, this activation. It's okay if you overreacted.

It's okay. Be kind to yourself about it, and then get curious ~where ~is happening there. ~Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ~You put that very lovely. Thank you. So, and finally, we would like to know more about what's your next practice, what's your future vision for expanding this way? So I have my vision. I, I work a lot with vision with my clients and I think it's so important to have a vision in life.

~Um, and, you know, ~we can get excited about it. ~So ~my vision, ~I mean, ~I have my private coaching, which is going well, but something. That again, ~you know, ~when I talk about being fully aligned, I'm fully aligned when I'm working part of a group. I don't like working alone. I like being with others. I like the power of different minds and how they work.

Bringing all that together in a retreat, in a workshop, magic happens when you have that. ~So really, really ~my objective now is to focus more on becoming a facilitator or organizing my own workshops with others. In fact, I'm running a workshop in November on the first and second November, an introduction to Self-Compassion with a beautiful childhood friend who's been on a very similar path.

~Mm-hmm. Uh, yes, me in Baum, ~and they were doing it in Lisbon. ~So ~I wanna do more of these workshops. I am also. Growing my business to really do more group work. ~So ~I'm gonna be starting in Geneva, but it can also be online in narcissistic abuse support group. 'cause there's such a need for that when someone's going through such a relationship ~is ~in one or leaving one.

It is so important to be in a support group of like-minded people who've been through similar experiences because the experience itself is really, really crazy. Making you think you're going crazy and having people going through a similar experience validate what you are going through or are going through or have been going through is really an important part of healing.

~So ~I wanna do more of that and I also plan to, ~uh, ~either launch. With someone still to be confirmed and it's not gonna happen in the next year, my own podcast or do more podcast work. ~Hmm. ~Great, great. ~So ~we can get the message out there. And I come from, I'm  half Lebanese, half Palestinian. I've lived ~all my life ~outside Lebanon most of my life.

~Um, ~I would also like to bring the work I'm doing to my. Home town, so especially when it comes to trauma work. So I'd probably be running workshops there at some point as well. Yeah, that's great. You have a great vision and success in them. Once again, Ms. Tamara, thank you so much for being with us today.

Thank you so much and sharing your expertise and we again, wish you success in your vision and your work. Thank you so much. Thank you, and I hope I'll join you next time, ~uh, ~when you're doing one of your in-person events. I know I couldn't this time in November, but hopefully next time I would, that's another part of my vision to be there in person.

Definitely. Thanks a lot for this opportunity. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. Okay. We believe personal mastery forms the foundation of leadership healing from within where true success begins To all who listen, your growth is your legacy. This is worth minds. See you in the next episode. Thank you.